Learning to Move On: A Guide to Self-Helping

Life is unfair. I am saying that simply because it is. No matter how much we want things to go our way, we just couldn’t shrug off the fact that we are not in control at times. Whether it makes you feel angry or sad, you only have to move on so you could feel better.

Still, for most people, moving on could be one of the hardest things to do. A tragedy or an unfortunate circumstance can leave even the strongest of wills broken. Yet, I couldn’t think of a feeling more human than despair. It’s okay to be sad, because eventually things will make a turn for the better. That is, if you make an effort to take the steering wheel and drive towards a better future for yourself.

Here are just some of the most important things to remember if you are in the process of moving on.

Get emotional help

The first thing you will have to do is to get someone to be by your side. You don’t have to act needy or clingy with another person. All you have to do is tell someone close to you that you are having a rough time and that you need an emotional pillar to lean on.

If you are undergoing a divorce, for example, your divorce lawyer can only do so much to help you with the difficult processes. To truly move on from a separation, talk to your friends or family about it instead of fighting the emotional side of this battle alone. After all, opening yourself up is one way to help you move forward.

Record what you feel

In an online article by the University of Rochester Medical Center, keeping a journal offers a wide range of benefits for people who undergo a great deal of anxiety and stress. For sure, keeping a journal doesn’t only stimulate your creativity, but it also helps you gain control of your emotions and improve your mental health.

For this reason alone it would be best for you to record your ordeal. The feelings that you have kept within you ever since a traumatic event can eat at you from the inside, making it impossible to move on. You will need to release these feelings on paper. The cathartic effect it has over you can help you empty out your mind of disruptive thoughts, leaving you with empty places you can fill up with happier ones.

Stop rationalizing

Delving into “what ifs” can only make matters worse. Indeed, we couldn’t help feeling guilty for the bad things that happened to us and to other people. But the thing is, it is a part of the process of coping with a tragedy or loss.

Still, we have to keep in mind that rationalizing an event for too long can only pull you down rather than raise you up. The only way for you to move on is to accept the situation as it is, learn from it, and turn the experience into a life lesson you can learn from. That way, you will be even stronger than you were before.